I am excited to share with you the 9 abuser types that Lundy Bancroft talks about in his book “Why Does He Do That? Inside the minds of angry and controlling men”. Lundy tells us that most abusers are a combination of 2 or more of these types.
The terrorist is one scary dude. He holds your life in his hands, or so he believes and wants you to believe. He takes control to a whole new level. He monitors your every move much like the Drill Sergeant, however his abusive tactics are usually even more life threatening. He will Demand his rights, his wants and his control over you by threatening your life, your property and your pets. He will constantly remind you that he has complete control over your life and your safety. He doesn’t have to physically harm you to get his point across either. He is very adept at communicating with body language, looks and words. He seems to thrive on your pain and is only satisfied when he has you completely frozen in fear of him.
His over arching belief system is that you are completely evil and must be controlled and terrorized in order to prevent you from acting evil toward him. He has a right to control you and you have no right to defy his authority in any way. If you do, he will make you pay and live in dread and fear. He might be cleaning his gun or leave it on the kitchen table and make a remark about ‘dead wives who don’t obey’. He might pin you down and whisper in your ear that ‘you’ll never get away from him’. One abuser cut an article out of a newspaper about a woman who had been murdered by her husband and taped it to the fridge. He could hang your cat and laugh at your response, letting you know clearly that he doesn’t care about you. He will destroy your belongings but never his own. He will hurt your pets, even kill them, to show you what he is capable of. He will threaten you verbally and physically including intimidation, stalking as well as physical violence. His terrorizing methods are sadistic, brutal and ruthless. This kind of abuser would rather kill you, your children and himself rather then let you go free from him.
The terrorist is sadistic. He gains his greatest amount of satisfaction by causing paralyzing fear and psychological terror in you. The only way to deal with the terrorist is to take steps to get away from him safely. Living with him will break you down mentally. It is imperative that you find support somewhere and that you have help with safety planning. The terrorist is the most likely to stalk you both physically and on line.
What the Bible says about the Terrorist:
Do not harass anyone or accuse
anyone falsely… (Luke 3:14)
Let none of you suffer as…an evildoer or as a meddler
in other people’s matters. (1Peter 4:15)
Proverbs 6:16-19 There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.
Woe to the wicked one!—Calamity; for the treatment [rendered] by his own hands will be rendered to him! (Isaiah 3:11)
Psalm 10:17-18 O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more.