Feb 8, 2010 I got off the phone with my spouse. My mouth was dry and I was shaking in anger. After 14 years of abuse, he had just targeted my child. I had been praying for a clear path for months as things at home had been escilating. As I hung up the phone... Continue Reading →
What Do Abusers Have In Common?
In order to effectively help a victim of domestic abuse and as a way to more fully understand what you, as a victim, have gone through, it is very important to address the commonalities that we see across the board in abusers. Batterers are individuals who all have a similar way of thinking and functioning... Continue Reading →
A phenomenon that victims experience, but don't always have the words to express, is called Abusive Retaliation or Paybacks. Now, this may automatically leave us thinking about the courts and the retaliation a victim might experience after she reports, leaves or files for protection and yes, this retaliation is a well-documented concern. However, Paybacks go on all... Continue Reading →
A Survivors Christmas List
Ask someone what they want for Christmas and you'll hear all sorts of lovely requests for toys, clothes, food and such sundry. This Christmas Eve, I am thinking about all my sister victim/survivors, the ones who aren't 'out' yet and the real Christmas lists they are longing for. Dear Someone: A Hug A little hug.... Continue Reading →
LET’S TALK ABUSE…
There are 6 primary forms of abuse. This blog post will briefly explore each one and shed light on how it is used by an abuser to maintain power in a relationship. Abuse is intended to create a control and power imbalance in your relationship. Abuse creates an environment of mistrust, tension, violence, and chaos.... Continue Reading →
When it’s life or death: Preparing for an emergency escape. Guest Podcast
I had the honor to be a guest on TUF Women Table. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbTowDMkYm4&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR2nG3MlMRmXA7ki4HpczifGeMBQSbLZTeOT4BMLCroOM8_TDD8Y4EUnz40
Are You Telling Me that God is Abusive? Financial Abuse part 6.
When I fled in my van with my children, I had nothing. Over the previous 14 years, I had been prevented from accessing cash and writing checks. I was limited to the use of one credit card for all our needs. I was called in to stand before him once a month to account for... Continue Reading →
Are You Telling Me that God is Abusive? Sexual Abuse, part 5
I'd cried myself to sleep the night of our wedding, having been refused The next morning, I awoke to his hand on my left hip. "Take off all your clothes; I'm going to consummate this now." Shocked, confused, and dismayed, I obeyed. I didn’t feel like I had a choice. A few months later, after being... Continue Reading →
I sat very still listening as he droned on into the third hour of lecture. I knew that if I spoke up, talked back, argued, offered an original thought, or looked bored, he'd keep it up for hours. The potential that he'd keep me awake all night was high. I was exhausted but determined to... Continue Reading →
A Response to the Victim-Shaming of Tara Reade
This could not be more accurate or better written. We must be consistent in our support of victims regardless of political party issues.
A friend recently tagged me in a Facebook post that attempted to discredit Tara Reade, the woman who has accused presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden of sexual assault. You can read that post in its entirety here. What follows is my response. Please note that my interest here is neither to defend nor to discredit any particular politician or political party. Rather, my concern is for victims of abuse of all political persuasions who are attacked, slandered, and shamed whenever they come forward against people in positions of power and influence. It is disheartening that both major political parties exploit abuse accusations against their political rivals, but are willing to ignore them against their political allies. Truth and justice, not political expediency, should be our motivation when dealing with accusations of abuse. It is to that end that I have written this response.
I’ve hesitated to weigh in…
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