I realized today how few people have fought for my heart. Oh yes, I have been dated, courted and wooed. I have even been married. I have been prayed for. I have been loved. But who has really truly put their own desires, their own life, their own heart on the line for Me? Died to themselves for ME? Who knows my life story, not just the parts they want to hear? Who understands my wounds, the arrows that pierce my soul?
Very few people.
When i was in University, I started to hang out with a dangerous group of ‘friends’. This group introduced me to alcohol, gaming and sex. I can honestly say that I did NOT have sex with anyone and my downward spiral stopped just short of indulging in that. The reason why….my mother fought for me. She could see where I was going. She noticed my bad attitude, my late nights, my hung over state and one night when I did not come home she knew, in her ‘mother heart’ that I was in trouble. She stormed the gates of heaven. She called and harassed every one of my friends all through the night until they finally told her where I was. Yes, I was with a man….and that downward spiral was spinning fast…through the fog of lust, I heard the phone ring and my mother’s voice come over the answering machine (which was supposed to be Voice Mail… Miracle?). I heard her voice, jumped up and demanded to be taken home.
I was MAD! I was VERY MAD! I remember confronting my mom and yelling at her. I remember feeling the hate emanating from my eyes. I remember the sadness in her eyes as she told me that she loves me, that she would die for me and she would do anything to save me. Later she told me she had offered her life in place of mine, if only Jesus would save me. That night was a turning point. Not long after that I chose to move away from that city. I chose to be baptized and I chose a different life….all because she fought for my heart.
Now in my adult life I am a mom and I fight for my children. I am a friend and I fight for my friends. I am a daughter and I fight for my parents. I am a leader and I fight for my team. But still I ask, who fights for me? My best friends fight for me. My parents continue to pray for and fight for me. These precious people know my story. THEY understand my wounds. THEY are there with my through the awesome and fun times and they stay close during the horrible, emotional and painful times. They pray for my healing, wipe my tears, listen to my cry and love me still. I thank God for them!
Recently, I was called to fight for a friend. I fight hard in prayer. I have stayed on my knees for months interceding, fasting and praying on their behalf. I finally released them completely to God. I gave up my desires for this person and focused only on God’s desires for their life. My prayers are a natural outpouring of the Christ like love I have for them….it is SO important that they find Jesus. It is so important that healing takes pace. I pray that they can LIVE! I seek Gods best and care only for Gods will to be revealed. I was called to fight for their heart and I did. Talk about fulfilling! Someday I hope to see the healing that resulted, the changes that were made. I look forward to seeing their life being lived for the Kingdom instead of for self. It is something I thank God for every single day. Fighting for the ones I care for is one of the BIGGEST blessings of my life!
Jesus fights for my heart and He sees it as a blessing too. He is constantly calling me to a deeper more intimate relationship with Him. What brings me so much peace is that Jesus not only knows my story but He also knows the hits that my heart has taken. He was there with me, holding me, interceding for me and most of all loving me. He does not run from complication or chaos. Instead, He stays, steadily guiding me. He speaks truth into my life. He understands the desires of my heart. Even though He experiences the loneliness, discouragement, confusion as well as the joy, adventure and peace that I live, still He woos me, courts me and desires me, His Beloved. He longs to heal me and YES, He gave up his life in immense pain, so that He can offer me restoration and redemption. So that our hearts could be joined together, as one, for eternity. What a relief, a Holy Love. I am at peace knowing that the King of the Universe fights for me every moment. My Creator, my Savior, my Lord fights for me. I am worth fighting for. I am worth loving. I am His Beloved. I am Loved.