My life is a series of body checks that slam me against the boards. I admit it. My life sucks. Pretty much on a daily basis I am dealing with my own wounding, my children’s issues, my friends struggles, my church’s failings and a myriad of any other obstacles that come in the way of my joy. My life is not what I planned it to be. Instead of a happy, intact family full of love, mutual regard and fun; I am the head of a single parent household. One of my children has special needs. I do my best to nurture an atmosphere of love, mutual regard and fun but I don’t always feel like I’ve succeeded in that. I have lived through abuse, divorce, court fights, an earth shattering ending to an engagement, abuse witnessed by my child, loss of a job, personal emotional pain, judgement toward me and now recently the possibility that my son, who already has to deal with autism and SPD, may have a seizure disorder or a brain tumor that may call for brain surgery.
And yet, I find that its my trust in Jesus and His word that has brought (and brings) me through all of it. I was recently asked how I could trust a God who has allowed so much pain to enter my life. This made me stop and think. Why do I trust Jesus? Other then the obvious answers that I hear from most people, I wanted to go deeper then just “because he died for me” or “because he helps me” or even “because he loved me first”. I want to go deeper into the heart of Jesus. I want to identify the reasons I continue to trust Him.
1) Jesus cares. He not only takes notice of me but he also follows my life story. He records my sorrows. He counts my tears. He has compassion for the pain that I live through. “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 Isn’t that amazing? He doesn’t leave me alone in my pain. He offers compassion to me and stands with me. He refuses to leave me or forsake me. He says it 3 times in His word! (Hebrews 13:5, Deut 31:8 and Joshua 1:5) He takes time out of running the entire universe to notice that my world is crashing and then He stands with me never letting me go through it alone. I trust Him because He cares!
2)He KNOWS me. He knows the number of hair on my head (Luke 12:7) and lets be honest here, who REALLY cares how many hair follicles grow out your head? I suppose if you are going bald you might care but even then you don’t care enough to count them! Jesus searches my heart and He knows my heart. (Psalm 139:1) What does that mean? He tells me that He knew me before He even made me. (Jer 1:5) He gave me a mission, a divine appointment. He knows what makes me happy, sad, mad, glad and any other emotions. He created my emotions! He knows everything that has happened in my life to date. He knows when I need to rest and when I need to get to work. He pays attention to my thoughts and prayers. (Psalm 139:2). He watches as I live my life. (Psalm 139:3) He pays attention to my words and to my motivation for saying those words. (Psalm 139:4) My God in intimately involved in my life. In every waking and sleeping moment of my life. And once again I am told that He never leaves me. “You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head.” Psalm 139:5 I can place my trust in someone who knows me inside and out. A God who specifically pays attention to my life, my heart and my motivations. I can trust Him because He knows me intimately.
3) God’s got it! He’s in control of my world. He has made plans for me. Plans that aren’t necessarily like my plans but plans that are perfect for my heart. (Jer 29:11) His thoughts are the thoughts of a God who created the world. The thoughts and plans of a God who invented gravity, created love and dreamed up blob fish! I am free to give him control of my life. He is super smart…God smart…WAY smarter than me! His ways are higher then my ways and His thoughts are higher then my thoughts (Is 55:9) The way He set things up is that if I trust Him with my life mess then I will stress less about the mess and this enables me to think more clearly and hear from Him more clearly. What a great idea! A God who offers to take the junk and deal with it…Sign me up!! I trust Him because he sees the end from the beginning in my life.
4) God cannot make a mistake. My life is no mistake. He created me. He created my children right now, this year, this moment He gives me life. His plan for me is perfect….for ME! The way he teaches me, guides me, comforts me, loves me is perfect for ME! He speaks the language of my heart. He desires only what is best for in the long run of my life. “He is the Rock; his deeds are perfect. Everything he does is just and fair. He is a faithful God who does no wrong; how just and upright he is!” Deut 32:4 and “As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.” 2 Sam 22:31
Regardless of how many times I have been body checked into the side boards, it is no mistake. Romans 8:28 says “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” He has a purpose for my pain. He will turn my sorrow into joy. (Jer 31:13) His purpose is to draw me ever closer to Him. To have a living relationship with me. He orchestrates my life in such a way that he is romancing me and offering healing to me. He set the world spinning in orbit and He has made plans for me “But the LORD’s plans stand firm forever; his intentions can never be shaken.” Psalm 33:11 The intentions are His heart are loving and kind toward me. I can trust Him because he knows what he is doing.
5) He LOVES me! This is the best one of all. Jesus, King of the Universe, Creator of the world, Lord of Heavens Armies, everlasting to everlasting….chooses to love me. His love for me is so strong and so powerful that He chose to experience all my sorrow, all of my pain and take all of my sin upon himself in suffering. He loves me so much that He had his body ripped apart. He suffered betrayal and abuse. He lost the connection with His Father for me. All because he picked me! (John 15:16) He made promises to me that include everlasting love (Jer 31:3) friendship (John 15:15) and for me the best of all; He calls me His Beloved! (SOS 6:3). I can trust Him because He loves me more then He loves as His very own. To hurt me would be to hurt Him. To lose me would break His heart.
These are the reasons I trust Him with my life, my heart and my future. He is trustworthy, faithful and just but best of all, Jesus is LOVE.