A conviction is a standard that serves as a springboard for your choices. ~ pg 12
If you want to be a lady of conviction you need to know what you want BEFORE you go looking for it! This counts for dating, marriage, children and really any relationship you enter. You must predetermine your standards regarding sex, love, dating and marriage and must be prepared to fight for your convictions. I have heard it said “stand for something or you will fall for anything”. God wants so much more for you and YOU want so much more for you. Don’t settle. Don’t accept a date just because it’s a date. Hold out for your standards.
I wanted to know what the Bible said about the standards that we should look for in a dating partner. So I started with the obvious. The fruits of the Spirit.
Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control.
Those are pretty basic…so,what else does the Bible say about qualities to look for in a mate? Here are some Bible verses I found regarding Godly men.
Spirit Controlled Christian Eph 5:18
Jesus is the #1 priority in His life, not just something to talk about – March 12:30
Has been broken for Jesus. Knows how to put ALL his trust in Him. – Pil 4:13
Willing for ministry, wherever and whenever He is called 1 Cor 4:2
Leader and mover in helping save souls/concern for the lost Rom 10:14
Sensitive Spirit/concern for others MORE than himself Gal 6:2
Understands and accepts what it means to be a husband/responsable Eph 5:25-31
Humble, can be taught/disciple and able to lead others -Mt 28:19-20
Praying Man/committed to private time with Jesus -Col 4:2
*If this is important to you, make sure it is for him as well.
A family man who wants to raise children in Gods way. Prov 22:6
Those are some tough standards sister!! Yes, they are. Remember having these standards does not mean that the man of your dreams has all of these things perfected…but that he is allowing Jesus to “create a new heart” in him. You cannot change a man. Marriage will NOT change a man. Look for the qualities you want a man to posses before you marry him..they will not suddenly appear after the vows are said and the paper is signed.
Does he put others needs ahead of his own needs? Phil 2:3-4
Does he rejoice in a relationship with Jesus? John 15:11
Does he work on the relationships in his life? Is he able to forgive or does he hold a grudge?Does he Pursue peace? Heb 12:14
Does he follow God’s timing? Psalm 37:7
Is he interested in helping others in practicle ways? Eph 4:32
Does he stand for what is right? Romans 2:9-10
Does he follow through with his God-given responsibilities/spiritual gifts? Does he understand that “he+Jesus=adequacy for any given job” 1 Cor 4:2
Does he respect the feeling and emotions of others? A gentle man will take the initiative to lead but tempers it with gentle responses toward others feelings. Col 3:12
Does he flee temptations in his life? Does he understand what his weaknesses are? Prov 25:28
Ladies, be very careful when a Godly quality is totally missing in a mans life AND he refuses to deal with his ‘stuff’ before marriage. That is a huge red flag. Look for a man who is growing in Christ. Don’t date him otherwise!
Here is one more list of Ungodly attributes that you should be aware of in a man. Compare your ‘man of interest’ with what we have learned here today…
__Unwilling to communicate (Prov 14:10)
__Dominating (Romans 12:3)
__Bad Temper (James 1:19-20)
__Argumentative (Prov 20:3)
__Difficulty to apologize (Eph 4:32)
__Bad Language (Eph 5:4)
__Unwilling to be involved in church (Heb 10:24-25)
__Cant keep a job (1 Tim 5:8)
__Jealous (1 Cor 13:4)
__Self-Centered (2 Cor 5:15)
__Depressed (untreated) (2 Cor 13:4)
__Unwillingness to give (2 Cor 9:7)
__Alway going out with the guys and neglecting his family (1 COr 15:33)
__Wandering eye (1 Thess 4: 2-7)
__Lying (Eph 4:25)
__Immature (Eph 4:15)
__Workaholic (1 Tim 6:7-11)
Set your standards high, Ladies. There are good men of God still out there! God wants his very best for you….that best is worth waiting for! Make sure you date only men who are controlled by the Holy Spirit. Make sure that YOU are controlled by the Holy Spirit. Prov 3:6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
* this information was found in “Lady in Waiting” Jackie Kendall and Debby Jones.