Fighting for your heart

I realized today that few people have fought for my heart. Oh, I have been dated, courted and wooed. I have even been married. I have been prayed for. I have been loved. But who has really truly put their own desires, their own heart on the line for Me? Died to self for ME? Who knows my story, understands my wounds, desires my best? Very few people.

When i was in University, I started to hang out with a dangerous group of ‘friends’. This group introduced me to alcohol, gaming and sex. I can honestly say that I did NOT have sex with anyone in that group and my downward spiral stopped just short of indulging in that. The reason why….my mother fought for me. She could see where I was going. She noticed my bad attitude, my late nights, my hung over state and one night when I did not come home she knew, in her ‘mother heart’ that I was in trouble. She stormed the gates of heaven. She called and harassed every one of my friends all through the night until they finally told her where I was. Yes, I was with a man….and that downward spiral was spinning fast…through the fog of lust I heard the phone ring and my mother’s voice come over the answering machine (which was supposed to be Voice Mail…Miricle?). I heard her voice, jumped up and demanded to be taken home. When I got there I was MAD! I was VERY MAD! I remember confronting my mom and yelling at her. I remember feeling the hate coming from my eyes. I remember the sadness in her eyes as she told me she loves me, that she would die for me. Later she told me she had offered her life in place of mine if only Jesus would save me. That night was a turning point. Not long after that I chose to move away from that city. I chose to be baptized and I chose a different life….all because she fought for my heart.

Now in my adult life I am a mom and I fight for my children. I am a friend and I fight for my friends. I am a daughter and I fight for my parents. I am a leader and I fight for my team. But who fights for me? My best friend fights for me. My parents continue to pray for me and help me. I am not alone. THEY know my story. THEY understand my wounds. THEY pray for healing, wipe my tears, listen to my cry and know my hearts desires. I thank God for them! I thank God that THEY put aside their desired and really truly care  for my well-being.

Recently, I was called to fight for a friend. I fought hard in prayer. I stayed on my knees for days interceding, fasting and praying on their behalf. I released them completely to God over and over and over again. I  gave up my desires for this person and focused only on God’s desire. My sacrifice was a natural outpouring of the love I have for them….it was SO  important that they find Jesus, heal and really LIVE that anything I desired for them left my heart. I sought Gods best and cared only for Gods will to be served. I was called to fight for their heart and I did it. Talk about fulfilling! To see the healing that resulted, the changes that were made and the LIFE that being lived is something I thank God for every single day. Fighting was One of the BIGGEST blessings of my life!

Jesus fights for my heart.  He intercedes on my behalf. Romans 8:24 Jesus knows my story. He knows my pain and my wounds. He understands the desires of my heart. He feels the loneliness, discouragement, confusion, joy, love and peace that I live. He woos me, courts me, desires me. He longs to heal me and YES  He was willing even to give up his life in PAIN so that I will be whole in Him! What a relief….even though I have no ‘man’ who has been called to fight for my heart…I am at peace knowing that the King of the Universe fights for me every moment and because HE fights for me, I Want to completely give my heart to him!

Here is my heart Lord ❤

Jesus, Lover of my soul.

Jesus, Lover of my soul,
Jesus, I will never let you go
You’ve taken me from the miry clay
You’ve set my feet upon the Rock, and now i know

I love you, I need you,
Though my world may fall, I’ll never let you go
My Saviour, my closest friend,
I will worship you until the very end

~Hillsong United

 

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